Issues of the Heart Part 4

For part 4, my friend Kaitlyn wrote about her love for two little boys who I have yet to meet   But I feel like I know through her. Anyone who knows Kait knows those boys are her absolute heart, even though they aren’t biologically hers. They come before everything else and just reading about it in her own words made me marvel that someone so young could be so giving and self sacrificing. I’m not going to lie I teared up reading this because she’s one of the strongest people I know and she doesn’t even know it.  Giving something you didn’t have a lot of takes a courage I can’t begin to understand. Anyways I’m gonna stop let you read it yourself!

Guest Blogger: Kaitlyn, 17, Georgia, USA

  “What is love?” We always get asked that question but we never really know how to answer it because it may not always have the same meaning to everyone. We think of the greatest loves in our life as it being the love between a parent or spouse, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. I’m here to tell you about my love story, and how I love two tiny humans more than I have ever loved myself or anything else, for that matter.

      I was 14 when Kayne and Kole came to live with my family and I. They were only a couple months old and had already been abandoned by their birth-mother, who was my former foster-sister. We were only suppose to keep them for a couple weeks until their grandparents could plan out the living situation with their birth-father, but they’ve been with us for almost 3 years now. It has been the most beautiful and terrifying experience of my life, but I wouldn’t trade a day of it for anything.

    Kayne and Kole entered my life at a time when I was depressed and unsure of myself and looking back now, I know it was all in God’s plan for them to come live with us because without them, I would still be stuck in that really bad place. They have been my literal life savers and I thank God everyday that I was entrusted the great responsibility of raising them as my own children. I’m the last face they see before they go to sleep and the first one they see when they wake up. I was there for the first time they rolled over, the first time they laughed out loud, the first time they ate baby food, onto the first time they sat up by themselves, first time they crawled, stood up, and walked. I have been there for all of their first things in life so far, and I didn’t have to be. I didn’t have to start raising two babies at 14, or have that kind of soul awakening experience at such a young age. I should have went back to public school, had sleepovers, went to middle and high school parties, but I chose to sacrifice all of it to be the mother to them that they should have been blessed with. I know what it’s like to be abandoned as a baby and to have those trust issues for the rest of your life, and I never want them to have the experience I did with all of it. I was adopted by two great people who have raised me in church and taught me to always be kind to other people, and I knew I wanted to give that experience to Kayne and Kole. My relationship with them is about giving them what they deserve, what was taken from them before they could defend it for themselves, and giving them the love that they should have gotten from day 1. They don’t know anyone but my family and I, their grandparents, father, and triplet brother. We are all they have and in my opinion, all that they need. I may not be their biological mother, but not being biologically related to the child doesn’t make you any less of a parent. Being a real parent, isn’t in the DNA, it’s in the heart. I will always love them as if they came from me and that will never change.

I am with Kayne and Kole almost 24/7 and my favorite time out of the day with them is when they crawl up in my lap, fight over which side who gets to sit on, and we just sit there watching tv and in those tiny moments, nothing else matters. I will always cherish the little things that they do that warm my heart so much, whether it’s them rolling over and putting their little arms around me in the bed at night, or them choosing to sit with me and share their candy with me or let me play with their favorite toys that they won’t even share with one another. They may not remember the little moments when they get older, but they will remember who was always there for them when they wanted to be cuddled, or when they were sick and needed attention, or when they got boo-boos and needed a bandaid and a kiss. That to me, is what really matters, them knowing that it was always me that was taking care of them, no matter what time of day or how sleep deprived I was, I never turned my back on them.

My relationship with them is different from other relationships because it’s not forced. Its natural. I wasn’t forced to be a mother to them, or to love them, or to open my heart to its greatest lengths for them. It all came natural. They have always came natural to me, like it was always meant to be and it was always apart of God’s plan for the three of us. No matter how our lives turn out, my relationship with them will always stay the same and that’s what makes it so special and different.

The love between the three of us is the most real thing I have ever felt. It’s what keeps me going everyday, even when I don’t want to. It’s what makes me fight for them, take the nasty looks in public for having them, and it’s what makes me believe in God and that there is a purpose to my life. I didn’t know the true definition of love until they came into my life, because even now as I’m writing this, I look up and see them tucked in, sleeping so peacefully, and I still can’t even explain the level of love I have for them. There are absolutely no words to explain how much I love them, and it’s honestly terrifying but beautiful at the same time that I could ever love two babies as much as I love them. It takes my breath away.

I love them so easily as though they were my biological children because biology has never mattered to me. If they were my biological children, I wouldn’t love them any more than I do now. Like I said earlier, being a parent isn’t in the DNA, it’s in the heart, and in my heart, they will always be my children no matter what anyone says. They are what keep me going, even when I’m so tired at night, and they could be the most hyper they had been that whole day. They have stayed up for nights at a time and I was completely dead, but I kept going for them. You always hear people say that they would “die” for someone, but when you become a parent, no matter how it happens, you will do anything and I mean anything for your child. I would lay me life down for them, if it meant I could keep them safe from all of the bad stuff in the world. I know that I can’t protect them from everything in life, but I have made it my job to see them grow into strong, healthy young men that have the love in their hearts for other people that I have for them.

They have changed my life in more ways than I can explain and I will always be grateful to them for that. This love that I have with them and for them, that is my definition of love. Don’t stop in life until you find a love that makes you scared and excited at the same time, and a love that you would risk everything for, like I would with these babies.

Happy Valentine’s Day 2017.

As Blessing talked about yesterday and Kaitlyn restated today, love takes on a different form when it is between a parent and a child. I think the common themes of sacrifice and unconditional care rang clear from both women and I’m glad they shared! 

Four days in and this series has gotten a lot of positive feedback and I just want to thank the writers for all being brave and writing for me or with me (previous 3 guest bloggers entries linked below).  As always feel free to leave comments, thoughts, hit the like button, or share with a friend! These posts about love will keep coming right up until Valentine’s Day so stay tuned and share with someone you think needs a little extra love ❤️ 

(love of a mom) Blessing & Mason (Pt 3)

(Sibling love) Steph & Nicole (Pt 2)

(Sibling love) Meesha & Pete (Pt 1)


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