Shannon talked about love being something that is always present, unconditional, and more than just a word in Part 8 of this series and I wanted to find someone to kind of contrast that view. Love is always rainbows and unicorns and I think if we look honestly in the mirror, we have all been frustrated with love at one time or another. A very dear friend who I knew could do the piece justice, caps if this series of love by talking about how her experiences with the word itself have differed vastly from her experiences either actual act of love.
Guest Blogger: Monic, 23, Chicago, IL USA
Where do I even begin? Valentine’s Day is coming up and I can’t stand walking into stores seeing all the things with the word “love” written all over. It kind of makes me cringe when I see all those things. I actually can’t stand Valentine’s Day (no it’s not because I’m single or anything). I hate it because it’s centered on love. What, crazy right? I hate love. Yeah, I know hate is a very strong word, but I mean it. I’m not the super emotional type of person but I’m not the Grinch either. Sure “love” may exist for others but for me not so much. Before you start judging me or assuming things about me let me be a bit clearer. I hate the word love. Emphasis on word. Love is literally overrated.
How can I hate a word that supposedly “makes the world go round?” How can I hate a word that’s supposed to make you feel special and give you butterflies in your tummy when that special person says it to you? I’ll tell you. It’s simple actually. Love is a cop out. Love is just an empty word to me. To help you understand–it’s like someone coming up to me and saying “I bshdhjsw you” I felt absolutely nothing, it means nothing to me.
Honestly if you tell me you love me, it means nothing…show me instead.
Nowadays I feel as if “love” has no meaning anymore. I hear people saying it literally EVERYONE and it boggles my mind how others can that easily say I “love” you to someone. I could just as easily say it I guess, but even forming the word makes me feel…awkward. If I am not actually showing you how much I love you, it doesn’t matter how many times I say it- is it even real?. Everyone shows affection in different ways and I understand that. I’m a don’t touch me, don’t tell me you love me type of person. I’m getting better at accepting more of that though. But if we can show affection in different ways I shouldn’t have to say the word love to fit into society and be a part of the norm.
I’ve avtuslly used the word love, but it’s only on rare occasions when I know the other person needs to hear it. Even after saying it I’m just like welp there I said it.
“Real Love” is an action. It is a verb. You have to actually get up and DO something in order to love.
I did not grow up in a loveless house. My parents were a prime example of what love is. I have never heard my parents tell each other those three words and they weren’t really said to me. Love was shown to me. I had a roof over my head, clean clothes, food on the table, a family to talk and laugh with, you get the point. I knew what love was without having to use the word ever. We weren’t the family that used the word love when someone did something nice for us, when we were going our separate ways, or to express how we feel about each other like I’ve witnessed other families do. But never once have I doubted that my family “loved” me.
Same thing goes for my other relationships. I have no doubt that my friends know that I love them in their own special ways even if I don’t say the word to them. They know. How do they know? It’s in my actions. My friends know I will always be there for them because deep down I care deeply about each one. Even if we don’t talk every day or see each other frequently I’ll still go out of my way to do things for and with them.
With all that being said, I stand by my original thought. Love is overrated. Okay the word love is overrated. All the mushiness and cutesy things that are attached to it make me feel so awkward. It’s for some people…just not me…and I’m totally fine with it. I hate love but…to each their own.
I think my understanding of love changed when my nephew was born. I knew right from the first moment I held him that he owned a big chunk of my heart. I knew I would literally do anything for him in that moment. Anyone can look at us and tell that there is a strong bond between us. If I could give him the world, I would. Doesn’t mean I won’t try. Even though he is just a toddler he understands the affection I have for him. It may not be as strong or as loving as his parents but it is there. He makes me laugh, smile, and at times frustrated but it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. I will always be there looking out for him. He may be the reason I have tapped into my emotional side. I’ve had the privilege of watching him grow up and spending many of my days with him. After my dad died many people say I became attached to my nephew because in a way I was trying to fill a void. I don’t know how true that is, but having my nephew by my side is comforting so maybe there is some truth in that statement. Maybe now I kind of understand what people mean when they say they “love” someone.
What an awesome thought. Thanks for sharing Monic!
Every other day of the year I make it my personal mission to be the self love guru and nag people all day about saying a kind word or making someone else feel loved. Today, Valentine’s Day, being single as I am I gotta admit I don’t have those warm and fuzzy feelings as I scroll through endless Facebook posts of couples. I do for a second feel like love might be as overrated as Monic talked about and I think it’s okay to feel the way that we feel and be honest. But it’s important to continue to love as an action. I will probably type up a conclusion to this series later in the week, but for now I think this is a good ending. Go out into the world today and BE loving don’t just give out cards that say the word love. Make sure that the people you come across today leave your precedes FEELING like they are loved and knowing without a doubt that you mean something to them.
I love each and every one of you for reading, for supporting this series and for staying engaged by the way!