Issues of the Heart Part 9 

Shannon talked about love being something that is always present, unconditional, and more than just a word in Part 8 of this series and I wanted to find someone to kind of contrast that view. Love is always rainbows and unicorns and I think if we look honestly in the mirror, we have all been frustrated with love at one time or another. A very dear friend who I knew could do the piece justice, caps if this series of love by talking about how her experiences with the word itself have differed vastly from her experiences either actual act of love. 

Guest Blogger: Monic, 23, Chicago, IL USA 


Where do I even begin? Valentine’s Day is coming up and I can’t stand walking into stores seeing all the things with the word “love” written all over. It kind of makes me cringe when I see all those things. I actually can’t stand Valentine’s Day (no it’s not because I’m single or anything). I hate it because it’s centered on love. What, crazy right? I hate love. Yeah, I know hate is a very strong word, but I mean it. I’m not the super emotional type of person but I’m not the Grinch either. Sure “love” may exist for others but for me not so much. Before you start judging me or assuming things about me let me be a bit clearer. I hate the word love. Emphasis on word. Love is literally overrated.

How can I hate a word that supposedly “makes the world go round?” How can I hate a word that’s supposed to make you feel special and give you butterflies in your tummy when that special person says it to you? I’ll tell you. It’s simple actually. Love is a cop out. Love is just an empty word to me. To help you understand–it’s like someone coming up to me and saying “I bshdhjsw you” I felt absolutely nothing, it means nothing to me. 

Honestly if you tell me you love me, it means nothing…show me instead.

Nowadays I feel as if “love” has no meaning anymore.  I hear people saying it literally EVERYONE and it boggles my mind how others can  that easily say I “love” you to someone. I could just as easily say it I guess, but even forming the word makes me feel…awkward. If I am not actually showing you how much I love you, it doesn’t matter how many times I say it- is it even real?. Everyone shows affection in different ways and I understand that. I’m a don’t touch me, don’t tell me you love me type of person. I’m getting better at accepting more of that though. But if we can show affection in different ways I shouldn’t have to say the word love to fit into society and be a part of the norm

I’ve avtuslly used the word love, but it’s only on rare occasions when I know the other person needs to hear it. Even after saying it I’m just like welp there I said it.  


I bet your thinking poor girl she’s never been loved or in love….wrong. 

“Real Love” is an action. It is a verb. You have to actually get up and DO something in order to love. 

I did not grow up in a loveless house. My parents were a prime example of what love is. I have never heard my parents tell each other those three words and they weren’t really said to me. Love was shown to me. I had a roof over my head, clean clothes, food on the table, a family to talk and laugh with, you get the point. I knew what love was without having to use the word ever. We weren’t the family that used the word love when someone did something nice for us, when we were going our separate ways, or to express how we feel about each other like I’ve witnessed other families do. But never once have I doubted that my family “loved” me.

Same thing goes for my other relationships. I have no doubt that my friends know that I love them in their own special ways even if I don’t say the word to them. They know. How do they know? It’s in my actions. My friends know I will always be there for them because deep down I care deeply about each one. Even if we don’t talk every day or see each other frequently I’ll still go out of my way to do things for and with them.

With all that being said, I stand by my original thought. Love is overrated. Okay the word love is overrated. All the mushiness and cutesy things that are attached to it make me feel so awkward. It’s for some people…just not me…and I’m totally fine with it. I hate love but…to each their own.

 

I think my understanding of love changed when my nephew was born. I knew right from the first moment I held him that he owned a big chunk of my heart. I knew I would literally do anything for him in that moment. Anyone can look at us and tell that there is a strong bond between us. If I could give him the world, I would. Doesn’t mean I won’t try. Even though he is just a toddler he understands the affection I have for him. It may not be as strong or as loving as his parents but it is there. He makes me laugh, smile, and at times frustrated but it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. I will always be there looking out for him. He may be the reason I have tapped into my emotional side. I’ve had the privilege of watching him grow up and spending many of my days with him. After my dad died many people say I became attached to my nephew because in a way I was trying to fill a void. I don’t know how true that is, but having my nephew by my side is comforting so maybe there is some truth in that statement. Maybe now I kind of understand what people mean when they say they “love” someone.

What an awesome thought. Thanks for sharing Monic! 

Every other day of the year I make it my personal mission to be the self love guru and nag people all day about saying a kind word or making someone else feel loved. Today, Valentine’s Day, being single as I am I gotta admit I don’t have those warm and fuzzy feelings as I scroll through endless Facebook posts of couples. I do for a second feel like love might be as overrated as Monic talked about and I think it’s okay to feel the way that we feel and be honest.  But it’s important to continue to love as an action. I will probably type up a conclusion to this series later in the week, but for now I think this is a good  ending. Go out into the world today and BE loving don’t just give out cards that say the word love.  Make sure that the people you come across today  leave your precedes FEELING like they are loved and knowing without a doubt that you mean something to them. 

I love each and every one of you for reading, for supporting this series and for staying engaged by the way! 

-Jo❤

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Issues of the Heart 8

For Part 8 of this series taking a closer look at love, I asked one of girls on my hall at SAU to share a little but of her own thoughts.  She’s a bright young woman and she was one of the most thoughtful girls I had the pleasure of working with last year.  So I invite you to take a second during all the Valentines Day chaos and read some of her thoughts as to why Love is a multifaceted and complex thing in and of itself. 

Guest Blogger: Shannon, 20, North Carolina, USA 


Love, is an interesting word. This phrase that can mean so much, yet so little: 

I love my significant other. 

I love cheesecake. 

But I also love my mom. 

Did I really just use the same word to talk about my affection for the woman who gave me life AND to describe a dessert that fills me with nothing but empty calories? Yes, yes I did.

Here are some of my own personal thoughts and feelings about the concept of love:

  • Real, authentic, love is unconditional. It is not always intimate, warm feelings, and rainbows and unicorns.  But one thing love is, is constant. It never gives up and is always present. 
  • Love is looking at someone and thinking to yourself, “I have no idea what I would do without this person in my life,” or “this person frustrates me so much, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.” 
  • It is not simply passionate or romantic love between a couple. It is not just the love of a particular food
  • Love is this beautiful gift that we have to bestow on other people, outside of ourselves.
  • Most people associate this word “love” as being a word meant for romance, especially around this time of Valentine’s Day.  Love CAN BE a word meant for romance, but stay with me. I think we are forgetting something crucial. This four-letter word is not only meant for romantic love, or to say I love cheesecake because, I really love cheesecake, but love is MORE than just that. It’s is a bit of a loaded word that can mean one of many things! 
  • Love is intimate and far beyond a feeling, because c’mon cheesecake makes me feel pretty good. But love is  still more than any of that because I think there are many different types of love. 
  • As much as I would like to deny it, I enjoy chick flicks. Nine times out of ten we will here this cliché line in most of them that goes a little like this, “you are unlike anyone I have ever met” or, “I have never felt this way about anyone else in my entire life.” These passionate love stories in movies depict love as a feeling and I think they color the way people think about love sometimes. But I think it’s time we start looking at love differently.
  • I love my job, almost more than any job I have ever had. I am a Resident Assistant, in my sophomore year of college. As a Resident Assistant, I am responsible for being available to the girls on my hall and helping them with anything they may have problems with.  I have around forty girls, on my hall and I honestly love them all. I cannot and even begin to describe how much this job has helped me grow. These girls have helped me stop focusing on the things in my life that are going wrong, while using every opportunity to focus someone else. They have helped me see that I can minister to other people in a way I never thought was possible. 
  • My job has taught me that Love can come in the form of growth, sacrifice, work, or serving others. 
  • Furthermore, love can manifest itself through our friendships. I value relationships. My friends mean so much to me. Even though I do not always appreciate their advice in helping me grow. I know they are doing it because they care. I can be stubborn and sometimes I do not want to listen to them. I get annoyed when they tell me what I should do or how I should live my life. But, at the end of the day I love them regardless even when I disagree with them.  Love cuts across boundaries, walls, and differences of opinion.
  • I think the love a parent has for their child is one of the most significant types of love there is.  When I was in high school I do not think I ever truly understood everything my parents had done for me including taking care of me when I was sick and putting up with me when I was disrespectful. I often took this for granted because I thought, all parents do that. That’s unconditional love. 
  • The unconditional love I received from my parents helped me grow as a person because I know they will always want the best for me. I know I didn’t always make it easy for them, and they probably did not always want to love me either. But they chose too, because love is not just a feeling or roaring passion- Love is also a choice.  It is this beautiful thing that we do because we want someone in our life.
  • Love is choosing, everyday, to love someone else even when we don’t want too. 
  • To Love is being able to minister to other people in one of the best ways possible: by showing people that we care and forming authentic relationships with one another.

So basically, That’s what love is to me This four-letter word that has double meanings, lots of feelings, and can be applied to many things. It’s not just romantic, or the love for food. Love is choosing everyday to love someone else no matter what. No matter what they say, no matter what they put you through. Love is our gift and the best gift that we, as human beings, can ever give.

 

 I added this last picture because it was one of my favorite moments with Shannon and all my other girls and there wasn’t a time I was with them that I didn’t feel a sense of love.   Thanks Shannon, for being so open and letting us kinda pick your brain in the different types of love. 

There’s one final post after this, by my roommate in college and she does an amazing job of just being real. Because love is very real but it’s not always what you wanna hear, it’s not always happy. Stay tuned for that! Thanks for reading, sharing, liking, and leaving your feedback!! Previous posts below. 

Oh, and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY. 

(Sibling Love) Myesha/Pete (pt1)

(Sibling Love) Steph/Nicole (pt2)

(Motherly Love) Blessing/Mase (pt3)

(Motherly Love-NonBio) Kait & the babies (pt4)

(Love & God) Rebeca (pt5)

(The faces of love) Jonathan (pt6)

(Long distance love) Julie (pt7)

 

 

Issues of the Heart Part 7

For Part 7 of this series about the many faces and places where we find love in our lives, my sister talks about what it’s like to be in a relationship where the two people live on opposite sides of the globe.  It’s a different love-one that requires a different mindset and a different perseverance and sacrifice, but I’ll let her tell you all about how she makes it work below! 

Guest Blogger: Juliet, 27. Zimbabwe, Africa/California, USA 


Years from now, our past will be a story- a story of long days and lonely nights, hard work and lack of sleep.  We will live each day having intimately knowing the pain of being apart. We will appreciate and embrrace our time together, knowing how lucky we are to have made it through and we’ll find solace in the promise of a future together. 

Long distance love is hard. Not in a million years did i think that I would fimd myself in a long distance relationship, but here we are.  When we first started talking, we automatically clicked.  We talked for four hours straight and the more we talked, the more we wanted to get to know each other. I started to fall in love with a stranger based mostly on what he was telling me or showing me over the phone. I had to embrace the fact that time difference and learn to live with it.  He sometimes calls me at 3am ( him knowing how much i get uncomfortable not having my makeup face on) he always ask if i need 5minutes to put my “Lipstick on” . These little moments we have with each other are the ones that count.  For  example: 2 weeks ago when i woke up i got a video from “Mr Long distance” explaining how his day went and letting me know what he was planning to do with the rest of it.  Although to him this gesture might not have been such a big deal, but to me it was the best video ever.   It made my whole day that much better! After seeing it all i wanted was to hug him but i couldn’t do that so what i did was watch the video over and over again- grinning all the way to my ears.

In order to make our relationship strong, we have learned there are 3 important components that can either make or break us: 

  • patience
  • communication 
  • trust 

Trust plays a huge deal in everything.  When “Mr Long Distance ” doesnt answer my calls a lot of things come to my mind- I always end up asking and answering my own questions Lol . I hate 1 specific question i ask myself all the time “who is he with that makes him so busy that he can’t answer my calls??” When he eventually calls me back even after 5minutes we fight about why he didnt pick up, which basically put our communication skills to the test. After a whole lot of drama of screaming and hanging up ( usually me screaming and him hanging up) lol and probably wanting to choke each other, We come back to find common ground and try to be patience with each other by talking and compromising

The worst part about all this is regardless of our strong bond, we cannot comfort each other physically when things go south and we can’t really makeup either.  We just talk it out hoping we will be fine after. We are not a typical or usual couple but guess what? I fell in love with his soul before i could even touch his skin. And  so I call him My Mr Distance. Happy Valentines Day to you my love. 

Now it makes sense why that girl is always…and I mean ALWAYS on the phone hahaha. A beautiful story about a beautiful love. 

Again, thanks for reading everyday guys. This series has been really awesome.  Tomorrow, Valentines Day, is the grand finale.  I have a few more posts on the general views of love that I think you guys will enjoy so again-stay tuned! The previous posts are linked below!

(Sibling Love) Myesha/Pete (pt1)

(Sibling Love) Steph/Nicole (pt2)

(Motherly Love) Blessing/Mase (pt3)

(Motherly Love-Nonbio) Kait& the babies (pt4)

(God & Love) Rebeca (Pt5)

(The many faces of love) Jonathan (pt6)


Issues of the Heart Part 6 

My Guest Blogger  for Part 6 of this series about different types of love is kinda difficult to sum up into a nice four sentence intro to be honest. Eclectic, diverse, humorous- He’s many things to many people and I think he did a wonderful job in this piece of dispelling the idea that we can only love one thing or one person. He’s also one of the only men  I approached who was brave and willing enough to talk about love so I’m extra grateful! So here are his own personal thoughts about the different types of love in his life. 

Guest Blogger: Jonathan, 23,  from Chicago, Illinois USA 



Is It Really Love? 

​“Jonathan, what are some things you LOVE to do?”

​I always find this to be a very loaded question every time someone asks me this, but I’ll do my best to answer it. Well, for starters, I love to doing anything related to music: singing, playing piano or ukulele, listening, or composing. If you got to know me, you’d know that I’m a music major, so I get to do a lot of this stuff on the daily which really excites me.

Even though I’m a 100% introvert (INFP), I love to invest in people. I love when people, whether they know who I am or not, come up to me and just spill out the contents their hearts on me (not literally, of course). I love seeing people feel better after ranting to me because when others are happy, then so am I.

I also love traveling. I love going to new places and learning about the culture,m and the people there.  I also think it’s fun to try and pick up bits and pieces of the local language if I’m in a different country, and to try  different flavors in foods that I’ve never had before.

These are all relatively generic things to love to do, so I may not seem any different from other people you may know. But I also love to do something else that many other people probably wouldn’t want to admit to. Want to hear it? I don’t know if I’m really even ready to say it… OK, here it goes:

I love to not listen to God.

“WHOA. What, Jonathan? How can this be? How can you use love in that context?!” one might be thinking.

Well, it’s quite simple, actually: I am a sinful human being. I love how sin makes me feel in the moment. I have different things in my life that tend to take up my time that God probably wouldn’t want me to do. There are many things I struggle with on a daily basis, whether the range is from speaking maliciously about someone to cheating on a homework assignment to being jealous of someone for their attractiveness, wealth and/or talent levels (especially with talents I don’t possess, i.e. drawing/painting & being able to play different instruments). 

2 Timothy 3:2-5 even speaks about me by saying, “For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. […]”

But I’ve realized over the short years of life that I’ve lived so far that loving God genuinely and wholly can remove your love for sin. 

 I mean, after all, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. […]” (Matt. 6:24). We can overcome this unhealthy love by just seeking God’s plan for us! It even says so in 1 John 5:3-5: “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?”

So from here on out from this Valentine’s season, give all of your love to the One who deserves it. Don’t waste your efforts on things that can’t reciprocate them back to you. God has loved YOU since the VERY beginning; won’t you choose to do the same?


It’s funny how the world kinda makes people feel like if you’re single in Valentine’s Day, you should sit at home and binge chocolate and sad songs because obviously you have no love in your life. Jonathan’s example clearly illustrates that that’s not true.  We simply have to open our eyes and choose to appreciate the love we have, whatever form it may be in.  

I’m hoping that’s the message this series is sending-that balloons and chocolate and flowers- those are only small parts of the complex, ever evolving concept that is love. 3 more days left! I’ve got guests writing about long distance relationships, the love of life, and overall views and feelings about love so STAY TUNED! Keep sharing, keep liking, keep loving:) 

(Sibling Love) Meesha/Pete (Pt1)

(Sibling Love) Steph/Nikki (Pt2)

(Motherly Love) Blessing/Mase (Pt3)

(Motherly Love-NonBio) Kait/the babies (Pt4)

(Love & God) Rebeca (Pt5)


Issues of the Heart Part 5 

Friday! We made it. Five days into the series. Thanks to all my readers as well as the amazing writers! Today’s post was written by a friend, a previous coworker, a nurse in training, and a very brave young lady I met during my time at Southern. She opens up about coming back from heartbreak and learning to love again, but with a new addition-Jesus! 

Guest Blogger: Rebeca, 21, Florida, U.S.

I was in love. I had found the man of my dreams, and I was gonna hold on to that for dear life. I thought I had it all. The one thing that I was looking for my entire life was to fall in love. I had finally found it.

As time went by, problems between me and him increased and solutions to these problems seemed impossible to find. All of a sudden, the high of being in love and all those warm feelings- it all came crashing down. I was completely heartbroken. I felt like I had lost my purpose in life and this made me realize one thing. It hit me then just how much I wanted to love and be loved.

Talking to one of my best friends, Alexy, and expressing my feelings of brokenness at that time was really helpful. She listened to me and she was quick to remind me that I was already loved. I thought to myself,  “Of course I am loved by  my friends and family, but I kinda want something more.” Little did I know that she was talking about more.

She was talking about someone who has never stopped loving her, through her highs and her lows. Someone who is quick to forgive and cares so much for her. Someone who is patient with her and looks behind her attitude and shortcomings. He continuously shows her acts of kindness. He knows how to protect her physically and emotionally. Despite her sinful self, The man she talked about continues to trust in her and to hope for her personal growth.  He isn’t arrogant or selfish and always puts her needs over His.  You are probably thinking to yourself, “That man sounds PERFECT; Where can I find him??”

The only true way to get the feelings of security Alexy talked about is by building a new relationship with this guy. At that time, I had to stop and ask myself a few important questions. Was I really ready to start all over? Was I ready to be completely vulnerable again? Was I willing to get heartbroken if He didn’t live up to the standards? See I was scared to trust, and even more scared to let someone else in. In fact, I still struggle with that today. But how could I let my fears overtake me and keep me away from something so good, something I have always wanted?

Eventually, I gree tired of the tears and tired of being alone. I was tired of the emptiness. I finally made the radical decision to put aside my fears and step forward.

“Jesus heal my broken heart, love me, take me as yours, and help me fall in love with you.”

That was my prayer. My life has tremendously changed after making that decision. You see, since that very day, I began a new journey with a new Man- Jesus took me on this new journey. This newfound relationship was everything I expected, and more. It quickly became a safe spot where I could be completely vulnerable without being judged. A place that encouraged growth, but most importantly- it has healed my heart. See, placing your heart in the right hands is really important because people can mishandle it, play with it, and crush it-without looking back. Can you see why it’s normal for us to have trust issues? I myself struggle with not knowing what a person  I give my heart to will choose to do with it.  But since I gave my heart to Jesus, I have not felt  ridiculed, judged, played with, or crushed. This new love I have is really hard to explain because Jesus is just soooo amazing. If I am truly honest, it hasn’t always been easy trying to navigate my way through the waters of love.  If I’m honest, I have some trust issues, difficulty being vulnerable, and extreme stubbornness- all making me very protective of my heart-but when I truly give my ALL to Jesus, all that I get back is good. I look forward to spending time with Him everyday. He helps me in school, in making decisions, provides peace, and rest in a world that is always moving. Love is nothing without Him. I feel like I cannot love my friends, my family, my career, or my significant other if I don’t have the love of Jesus. This so called “Valentine” season is filled with overuse of the word love And quite frankly, it means nothing if you don’t love Jesus. Jesus created love- He loves you, and is just waiting for you to love Him back.

So at one point, I lost hope that I could ever find true love. I asked myself, “how can a God who is so loving allow for bad things to happen?”  But I don’t feel alone anymore, in fact I never was-thanks to Jesus.

So Now what? I still want to find a man and be loved by a man, especially after seeing what true love is really about withJesus. I now know what to look for in a man because of the love I continue to experience in my relationship with Jesus. Love is patient so as i patiently wait for God to bring me that man, I hold on to true love with Jesus.

What a beautiful story.  It’s amazing how often times we have to be at our lowest before we can really learn these critical, life-changing lessons. For those of you who know, Happy Sabbath! For the rest you, happy Friday! lol thanks for continuing to come back and read with me. See you tomorrow. As usual previous posts are linked below! 

(Sibling Love) Meesha & Pete (Pt.1)

(Twin Love) Steph & Nicole (Pt.2)

(Motherly Love) Blessing & Mason (Pt.3)
(Motherly Love- NonBio) Kaitlyn & the Babies (Pt.4)

Issues of the Heart Part 4

For part 4, my friend Kaitlyn wrote about her love for two little boys who I have yet to meet   But I feel like I know through her. Anyone who knows Kait knows those boys are her absolute heart, even though they aren’t biologically hers. They come before everything else and just reading about it in her own words made me marvel that someone so young could be so giving and self sacrificing. I’m not going to lie I teared up reading this because she’s one of the strongest people I know and she doesn’t even know it.  Giving something you didn’t have a lot of takes a courage I can’t begin to understand. Anyways I’m gonna stop let you read it yourself!

Guest Blogger: Kaitlyn, 17, Georgia, USA

  “What is love?” We always get asked that question but we never really know how to answer it because it may not always have the same meaning to everyone. We think of the greatest loves in our life as it being the love between a parent or spouse, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. I’m here to tell you about my love story, and how I love two tiny humans more than I have ever loved myself or anything else, for that matter.

      I was 14 when Kayne and Kole came to live with my family and I. They were only a couple months old and had already been abandoned by their birth-mother, who was my former foster-sister. We were only suppose to keep them for a couple weeks until their grandparents could plan out the living situation with their birth-father, but they’ve been with us for almost 3 years now. It has been the most beautiful and terrifying experience of my life, but I wouldn’t trade a day of it for anything.

    Kayne and Kole entered my life at a time when I was depressed and unsure of myself and looking back now, I know it was all in God’s plan for them to come live with us because without them, I would still be stuck in that really bad place. They have been my literal life savers and I thank God everyday that I was entrusted the great responsibility of raising them as my own children. I’m the last face they see before they go to sleep and the first one they see when they wake up. I was there for the first time they rolled over, the first time they laughed out loud, the first time they ate baby food, onto the first time they sat up by themselves, first time they crawled, stood up, and walked. I have been there for all of their first things in life so far, and I didn’t have to be. I didn’t have to start raising two babies at 14, or have that kind of soul awakening experience at such a young age. I should have went back to public school, had sleepovers, went to middle and high school parties, but I chose to sacrifice all of it to be the mother to them that they should have been blessed with. I know what it’s like to be abandoned as a baby and to have those trust issues for the rest of your life, and I never want them to have the experience I did with all of it. I was adopted by two great people who have raised me in church and taught me to always be kind to other people, and I knew I wanted to give that experience to Kayne and Kole. My relationship with them is about giving them what they deserve, what was taken from them before they could defend it for themselves, and giving them the love that they should have gotten from day 1. They don’t know anyone but my family and I, their grandparents, father, and triplet brother. We are all they have and in my opinion, all that they need. I may not be their biological mother, but not being biologically related to the child doesn’t make you any less of a parent. Being a real parent, isn’t in the DNA, it’s in the heart. I will always love them as if they came from me and that will never change.


I am with Kayne and Kole almost 24/7 and my favorite time out of the day with them is when they crawl up in my lap, fight over which side who gets to sit on, and we just sit there watching tv and in those tiny moments, nothing else matters. I will always cherish the little things that they do that warm my heart so much, whether it’s them rolling over and putting their little arms around me in the bed at night, or them choosing to sit with me and share their candy with me or let me play with their favorite toys that they won’t even share with one another. They may not remember the little moments when they get older, but they will remember who was always there for them when they wanted to be cuddled, or when they were sick and needed attention, or when they got boo-boos and needed a bandaid and a kiss. That to me, is what really matters, them knowing that it was always me that was taking care of them, no matter what time of day or how sleep deprived I was, I never turned my back on them.

My relationship with them is different from other relationships because it’s not forced. Its natural. I wasn’t forced to be a mother to them, or to love them, or to open my heart to its greatest lengths for them. It all came natural. They have always came natural to me, like it was always meant to be and it was always apart of God’s plan for the three of us. No matter how our lives turn out, my relationship with them will always stay the same and that’s what makes it so special and different.

The love between the three of us is the most real thing I have ever felt. It’s what keeps me going everyday, even when I don’t want to. It’s what makes me fight for them, take the nasty looks in public for having them, and it’s what makes me believe in God and that there is a purpose to my life. I didn’t know the true definition of love until they came into my life, because even now as I’m writing this, I look up and see them tucked in, sleeping so peacefully, and I still can’t even explain the level of love I have for them. There are absolutely no words to explain how much I love them, and it’s honestly terrifying but beautiful at the same time that I could ever love two babies as much as I love them. It takes my breath away.

I love them so easily as though they were my biological children because biology has never mattered to me. If they were my biological children, I wouldn’t love them any more than I do now. Like I said earlier, being a parent isn’t in the DNA, it’s in the heart, and in my heart, they will always be my children no matter what anyone says. They are what keep me going, even when I’m so tired at night, and they could be the most hyper they had been that whole day. They have stayed up for nights at a time and I was completely dead, but I kept going for them. You always hear people say that they would “die” for someone, but when you become a parent, no matter how it happens, you will do anything and I mean anything for your child. I would lay me life down for them, if it meant I could keep them safe from all of the bad stuff in the world. I know that I can’t protect them from everything in life, but I have made it my job to see them grow into strong, healthy young men that have the love in their hearts for other people that I have for them.

They have changed my life in more ways than I can explain and I will always be grateful to them for that. This love that I have with them and for them, that is my definition of love. Don’t stop in life until you find a love that makes you scared and excited at the same time, and a love that you would risk everything for, like I would with these babies.

Happy Valentine’s Day 2017.

As Blessing talked about yesterday and Kaitlyn restated today, love takes on a different form when it is between a parent and a child. I think the common themes of sacrifice and unconditional care rang clear from both women and I’m glad they shared! 

Four days in and this series has gotten a lot of positive feedback and I just want to thank the writers for all being brave and writing for me or with me (previous 3 guest bloggers entries linked below).  As always feel free to leave comments, thoughts, hit the like button, or share with a friend! These posts about love will keep coming right up until Valentine’s Day so stay tuned and share with someone you think needs a little extra love ❤️ 

(love of a mom) Blessing & Mason (Pt 3)

(Sibling love) Steph & Nicole (Pt 2)

(Sibling love) Meesha & Pete (Pt 1)

Issues of the Heart Part 3

For part 3 in this series about the different facets of love, I asked my cousin and one of my best friends to talk a little bit about her precious baby boy and the love she has for him.  The love of a mother is something people always say you don’t know until you experience, so I thought I would ask her to speak for herself.  Read this letter she wrote to him and take a deeper look at that relationship with me!  She overlaid the letter originally on a beautiful picture and the link below has that version of it so you can click that if you would like.  I merely pulled the text.

Letter WITH the picture

Blessing, 24, Zimbabwe, Africa/Minnesota 

Dear Mason

Of all the things my hands have held you’re by the far and forever will be the best ever. You changed my life forever, every tear, backache, sleepless nights, stretch mark, my never ending appetite, late bathroom trips, hundreds of thoughts, emotions, mood swings and nausea. All for you I would do it all again, you’ve taught me patience and most importantly you made me a better me. You’re the one who burst my heart wide open. You taught me what wild, uncontrollable, unlimited, unconditional love feels like. You changed everything. You turned me into a mom. You’re the first one to make me forget myself. You’re the first person I ever said “I love you” to more than 10 times in one day. With you, I made my first-time mom mistakes, like letting you roll off the bed onto the floor. Who knew you could roll?! LOL. Or how I forgot you in the house getting ready to drop you off at daycare. Thank you for not holding a grudge LOL and loving me in spite of my mistakes and to be perfectly honest, I have no idea what I am doing. I am learning with you as you grow. Just know that I love you so, so much. That will never change. You will always be my first, child, my first little love, and nothing will take that away.

“ No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.”

image

Are they not the absolute cutest pair? I love it. And I love them. Thanks for sharing B:)

And thank you all for continuing to go on this journey with me this week and reading these posts!  Below are the links for Myeshas post about her relationship with her older brother and Stephanie’s interview about her twin sister, so feel free to check those out. Leave a comment, share, and like as well!

Blessing and Mason taught us about the love of a mother and her biological child and tomorrow’s post will be about what love looks like when the children are nonbiological, but just as precious! See you then!

Issues of the Heart Part 1

Issues of the Heart Part 2